Defining Features
The following are the key features that make the CoD model distinct from conventional theories. Perhaps importantly the CoD is not exclusively a child development model. Instead, it is a universal model for understanding emotional growth.
Feature 1: Growing up takes a lifetime. Individuals don’t get everything in place first time around. We have our own story through each stage. Some people may get more support within one stage rather than another. The important thing is to bear in mind that we are not ‘grown up’ by a specific age.
Feature 2: New starts in life (e.g. new schools, new job, partner, house move) offer new opportunities to get what we didn’t get on previous occasions or more of what we already have. The main feature here is the concept of recycling stages.
Feature 3: It takes a community to raise its young. Children are surrounded by people and we take affirmation from whoever is offering it. Of course it is especially helpful in the earliest years if parents and carers provide appropriate support. And we know that as we grow we gather support from many others who are not our parents or immediate family.
Parents neither have the monopoly (or the responsibility) to do all of the support for children. We grow up amongst siblings, relations, teachers, carers, colleagues and friends.
Finally, this is a model that emphasises the importance of STAGES not ages. It emphasises the impact of context and is unashamedly optimistic about the possibilities for change.